Gethsemane

I remember this night.Last year. The last night.Exhausted, I watched youBy the tv light.Easy jazz filling the quiet.I held your handand talked of nothing.Rocking incessantly in that blue chairThat barely fit betweenThe hospital bed and the largeHeavy armoire that wasPart of the bedroom setYou bought before we married.I remember how you disassembledThe superfluously ornateCrown piece...

Black Hole

Grief rolls in Like a wave Crashing over you, Suffocating and heavy. ~~~~ There is a moment, Just a fraction of a second When you glimpse The impossibility of infinity. How it stretches on And on And on Without end. ~~~~ Then the fist of Anger Thrusts into your chest, Forces your head up, And...

March 20, 2020

Sixteen years ago today we stood in our back yard and exchanged beautiful words of commitment, surrounded by the blooms of camellias and the sweet fragrance of gardenia. Our poolside celebration with family and friends is forever etched in my memory as an exquisitely vivid moment of Joy in my lifeline. One of those images...

Debt

For as long as I can remember I have practiced the mentality of gratitude. I think, deep down, I believed that if I stayed mindful of and grateful for all the wonderful things in my life that those things would not be taken from me. That I would continue to earn them. That I would...

Zero Gravity

Too much time on my hands, Too much empty space around me. The cosmos suffocates me. I sink in Loneliness, Darkness crowding in. So much time. Too much space. Will it ever end ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Untethered Counting days. Minutes creep by Agonizingly. I blink and Weeks fly. Linear time is a lie. Wrapped, curled, and knotted...

Unfinished

I found a love And watched it die. My soaring joy Lies grounded. Forced too soon to say Goodbye Our future now unfounded. The life we built together Could have written novels; Our memoirs full and vibrant. No tales can do it justice now, Future pages will remain Silent. I found a love And watched...

Consumption

I walk this path of grief Moment by moment. It is a single lane Meant for only one at a time. Each path is different Pointed towards its own destination. No one can accompany me Or take my place. Each tear and trembling emotion must be felt, poked, and categorized all on my own. Step...

Relentless

Relentless Time... keeps on going Minutes tick by, seconds race away from me I try to grab them, hold them, squeeze their essence But I blink, I breathe, I sneeze And everything is lost. I want to pin each moment down like a butterfly But the more I try to feel each frame of my...

Rest in Peace with all my love

I hope you feel the sun on your face. I hope you hear the crashing of waves. I hope you feel the breeze off the ocean. And wherever you're going, I hope you are carried there with love and feel overwhelming peace. I love you the most. "Now cracks a noble heart. Good-night, sweet prince;...

Unconditional

He loved me. He chose me. He thought I was worthy. He thought I was wonderful. And because I respected him, I believed him.